~A. Ryce Kunchan Sama (blackrosesignet) wrote,
~A. Ryce Kunchan Sama
blackrosesignet

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Gawd.

Jeeze. I hate contests. Officially, Tokyo Pop will be the only contest I enter for a long fucking time. In fact, I'm going to have to maim whatever people thought up that horrid contest, because while it's a challenge, and a possible big step for me in my manga thing, it's really doing nothing so far that I'm happy with. I'm stressed. I want to burn what I've drawn. I want to give the hell up right fucking now and just go work at Taco Bell. I'm not really sleeping properly. God. Dammit.
I only have 21 days left. I wake up and count how long I have left on the calendar. ~~; and I've only got FOUR pages drawn! Not inked or toned or all nice and neat. Just some happy pencil.
And it sucks. I've never made a proper comic before. I don't know what I'm doing.

You know, I can't even convince myself to take a break and draw the other things that've been on my mind lately. I feel guilty for stopping to shower or read or watch a movie with my family. My block is gone, but now I have no time to draw what comes to mind. I'm really twtichy and fidgety and whenever I'm just sitting and resting I can't stay still and I get really freaked out because I'm wasting time. It's like some kind of paranoia. Do you know how much I hate that? ^^

But this is what a real artist deals with like, every month. So I'm gonna deal. Go me... So pardon my bitchy hate-filled talk about how utterly miserable I am. You're gonna get it for the next 21 days.

Gawd, something good better come of this.

In other news, umm... DDR is really fun. My sister's friends came to spend the night yet again, and Jennifer, her Korean friend thought it was nifty that I had a Moon Hee Jun CD. I asked her if she'd translate some lyrics for me, but she's so shy, and doesn't speak english all too well.. ^^; So she just read them to herself and kinda went back to eating her pizza. Har.
Um. It's loud here. I wanna break things. Like my fingers. My head hurts. I'm having caffene withdraw. Before that, I was having caffene overdose.
Ug.

I'm never going to sleep tonight. Doomy is damn hard to draw.
I need to call someone to talk to late tonight while I'm working. ~~;
On a side note yet again, I'm happy to hear that they're seriously contemplating another PotC movie. Oh, the utter joy that brings to my life.
IF ONLY I HAD TIME TO ENJOY IT!!!

Speaking of which, I don't need to be sitting here typing anymore. I have a page and a half to finish before tomorrow.
Yeah.
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